Tagged!
That's what I've been. Tagged. Tagged by the Evil Multi-Colored Monster. I've been told that people who don't respect such tags develop knobby knees and die young. I don't really have a problem with dying young, but I don't think I'll be able to stand the knobby knees. I am, therefore, going to play by the rules, and obediently answer the following set of meaningless questions, before dumping them on some other poor, unsuspecting and hapless soul.
Five things I will look for in my Fiancée:
1. Must be able to sustain conversation. I hate nothing more than uncomfortable pauses.
2. Money. I'm not going to be able to make much on my own. So I guess I'll have to settle for a rich fiancée.
3. Breasts. Breasts, breasts, breasts (I tend to repeat that word a lot. Kinda like the way it sounds). Yep, gotta have those. And legs. Long, long shapely legs. And a nice, perfectly-sized nose. Nothing beats a nice nose.
4. Glasses. Call me weird, but I find hot girls who wear specs very attractive.
5. Hair. Long, soft hair really works for me.
Five things I like to eat:
1. Other people's food.
2. Kismi Toffee Bar.
3. Mango Bite. Parle Mango Bite.
4. Sandwiches with Peanut Butter (Crunchy) inside.
5. Paapads. I love Paapads.
Five Goals of Life:
1. Procreating.
2. Acquiring the ability to talk less and listen more.
3. Learning to remain as calm as possible. (Serenity Now. Serenity Now.)
4. Killing Chawla (I shall use a compass).
5. Being able to live a life free from the menace of evil tags.
Five things I say a lot:
1. "Ohh!!!" - My way of greeting people. Anything longer is too elaborate.
2. "You're breaking my balls, dude. Breaking my balls." - My way of telling people they're breaking my balls.
3. "Go stick your head in a pig." - My way of telling people to go stick their heads in a pig.
4. "Screw you guys, I'm going home." - I'm an attachee. This line, as a result, works.
5. "Haaha!" - Usually goes well with pointing. Regular watchers of 'The Simpsons' would, I am sure, concur.
And I think I forgot to mention that your hair might fall off.
Five things I will look for in my Fiancée:
1. Must be able to sustain conversation. I hate nothing more than uncomfortable pauses.
2. Money. I'm not going to be able to make much on my own. So I guess I'll have to settle for a rich fiancée.
3. Breasts. Breasts, breasts, breasts (I tend to repeat that word a lot. Kinda like the way it sounds). Yep, gotta have those. And legs. Long, long shapely legs. And a nice, perfectly-sized nose. Nothing beats a nice nose.
4. Glasses. Call me weird, but I find hot girls who wear specs very attractive.
5. Hair. Long, soft hair really works for me.
Five things I like to eat:
1. Other people's food.
2. Kismi Toffee Bar.
3. Mango Bite. Parle Mango Bite.
4. Sandwiches with Peanut Butter (Crunchy) inside.
5. Paapads. I love Paapads.
Five Goals of Life:
1. Procreating.
2. Acquiring the ability to talk less and listen more.
3. Learning to remain as calm as possible. (Serenity Now. Serenity Now.)
4. Killing Chawla (I shall use a compass).
5. Being able to live a life free from the menace of evil tags.
Five things I say a lot:
1. "Ohh!!!" - My way of greeting people. Anything longer is too elaborate.
2. "You're breaking my balls, dude. Breaking my balls." - My way of telling people they're breaking my balls.
3. "Go stick your head in a pig." - My way of telling people to go stick their heads in a pig.
4. "Screw you guys, I'm going home." - I'm an attachee. This line, as a result, works.
5. "Haaha!" - Usually goes well with pointing. Regular watchers of 'The Simpsons' would, I am sure, concur.
Now comes the good part. The passing of the tag. I choose to pass it on to Aseem, Saurabh, and Saira. If you don't answer the stupid questions, you shall develop knobby knees and die young.
And I think I forgot to mention that your hair might fall off.
posted by Manu Saxena at 6:47:00 pm
15 comments
15 Comments:
Kismi Toffee Bar rocks so much even its wrapper kicks ass.
Totally. KTB also has one of the most peelable wrappers ever. And when you're trying to hastily unwrap something as tempting as a Kismi Toffee Bar, your tongue hanging loose and drool flowing freely, extra wrapper peelability counts.
@anjul + manu
i totally agree with both of you
but the only problem is that kismi bar is infinitesimaly small and i have to eat 10-20 to make some effect..
@Manu
wow what an amazingly evil post.. really wonderful.. (wonder-fool to be more precise)
knobby knees + die young is alright but another concequence would be that thick purple hair starts growing out of your nostrils and you DONT lose hair!
Bhool gaya kya ?? i told u all this....
(and if you're thinking that something like this (eg.purple hair) has ever happened to me, you're kindly mistaken)
He's not an evil multi-coloured monster. He's a keeda, a colourful keeda. Call him CK, it's protocol@blogosphere.
I kinda like your "goals in life", and I like the way you say "Haaha"too.
but I hate it when attachees crib ï'm going home" in the middle of nowhere!
Anyway, remind me to gift you a "Mango Bite"(I dont think KTB is sold in IITD campus, is it?) whenever I see you next, for writing a good post!
Its not often that i read ur blog.
Procreating seems to be top priority, i agree that things which seem impossible have to be thought upon early.
but in your case i feel you should quickly move to goal no.2. i will tell u the reason for your skinny appearence(ugh...) as well
it being other peoples food(along with their curses for making them starve) and KIsmi Bar would never really give u a healthy body and mind(bou do you need that)
i hope all is taken in the wrong spirit
@evil world
Oh please explain... how is a monster = keeda ?? how how ??
@evil manu + saira
evil evil!
i agree!
mannnu is max. evil
@evil manu
Aisay hee generally speaking....
Take it in the wrong spirit pls..
@evil maayush ayyar
why do u think that procreating is an evil-ly difficult task for mannu?
and if you're right, how do you know ??
Thank you, Mani, for thinking this to be a nice post. Be proud, for it was written all because of you. I wish you'd told me about the purple hair earlier though.
Phoenix, I shall, as of now, be calling him the Evil Monster with an Identity-Crisis (EMic). As for the Mango Bite, Parle Mango Bite, I would like that very much.
Ayush, I do believe this is the first time you have commented on my blog. It's wonderful to hear from you.
As far as procreation is concerned, you must realize that not everyone faces the same problems as you do in this department. With you, it must be really awful, what with all the fat getting in the way. I can totally sympathize. Now do you see how a 'skinny appearance' works to my advantage?
And if you're trying to be funny, I suggest you ask Mani for lessons. As of now, you don't seem to be pulling it off too well.
Keep commenting. It's always a pleasure having you around.
Saira, you're welcome.
EMic again, you're breaking my balls, dude. Breaking my balls.
i heard IITans make 1 crore a month.so u ought to be pretty rich urself!
@evil mannu
i was just wonderin..
u n i are the only difference between u n i.
manU and manI.
atleast ur intelligent enuff, to understand the difference between a monster and a keeda... kudos 2u.
I would never mind EMIC but duzznt RcGM look nobler??
anyways..
some say being skinny is bad for multiplying, some say being fat.
thank god im an average guy...
oh ya.. mannnnu.. u never told me u made 1 crore per month!!!
treat treat treat!!!
and ya im breaking your balls
to make sure you're not having a ball....
Came here after reading Aidoneus's wish-list (fiancee wise). Reminds me of all the slam books I would wistfully watch people filling, when I was very young.
How many breasts do you want your partner to have?
Ps: Why the word verification paranoia, dude?
Shalabh, as far as the breasts are concerned, I'd have to say, "The more, the better." However, somehow I get the feeling I shall have to settle for two.
The word-verification is to prevent comment-spam. I was getting a lot of it.
14th comment.
@manu
15th comment. I read your blogs whenever I run out of wasteful ideas to waste my time. Although, I must admit your blogs are the worst ways to waste one's time.
Am I praising your blogs??!!....Keep GUESSing but remember, your conjectures will always lead you away from the correct path.
(P.S. Happy belated birthday.)
@Green coloured pest
Well, if a dragonfly can be an insect, WHY THE HELL CAN'T A MONSTER BE A KEEDA?? DUH...
why fiancee?r u planning to dump her?
Post a Comment
<< Home