Opposing forces
Yesterday, during a conversation with The Elated Buddha (Mr. Bhavya Khanna for the uninitiated), I accidently stumbled onto a fundamental law that seems to govern our society. Well, atleast the male half of our society. Having formed a hypothesis yesterday, I assiduously set out to find solid proof in favour of the hypothesis. The findings, which I have just finished analyzing, prove beyond doubt the validity of my assumptions. My hypothesis, therefore, now becomes a theory. And I present it, for the first time, on this blog.
The theory, which shall be known as the 'Opposing Forces' theory states that all males in our society are divided into two groups, which differ significantly in their ideologies.
The first group, can be described as one consisting of Preity Zinta likers. This group has some characteristics that make it distinct from the other group. These characteristics enable the identification of this particular group easily without the overt use of the group defining question, which is "Do you like Preity Zinta?"
The second group, as some of you with more logically inclined intellects will have figured out by now, consists of Preity Zinta haters, or the Preity Zinta non-likers. This group is completely distinct from the group defined earlier. The intersection of these two sets is a null set. In other words, there are NO overlaps.
The Preity Zinta likers have certain distinguishing features. They differ markedly from the Preity Zinta non-likers on the following points.
Firstly, all Preity Zinta likers like Preity Zinta. They adore the characters that she portrays in her movies, and can't stop raving about her cute dimples. Some of the people present in this group think Preity Zinta to be very hot, and follow most of her films pretty religiously. The Preity Zinta haters, predictably, do not like Preity Zinta. They, like the Preity Zinta likers, have extreme views on the subject. One Preity Zinta hater whom I talked to recently went as far as to say, and I quote, "I feel like slapping her every time she comes on screen."
Secondly, all Preity Zinta lovers happen to be intelligent, sophisticated people, who are extremely successful in life, and are fun to talk to. They are excellent conversationalists, and can keep listeners engaged for hours. They also happen to be, in most cases, extremely talkative people. Preity Zinta non-likers, on the other hand, happen to be dull, boring people, whose IQ levels are usually dismally low.
Thirdly, and most importantly, the two groups respond completely differently when asked the following two questions:
1. What do you think about Kareena Kapoor?
2. What do you think about Aishwariya Rai?
Most Preity Zinta likers can't stand Kareena, and think Aish is too plastic and made-up. Most Preity Zinta haters, however, think that Kareena has a lot of 'Sex Appeal', and Aish is the epitome of beauty, whatever that means.
The most salient feature of the 'Opposing Forces' theory is that there are NO in-betweeners. None at all. In my search, I did not come across a single person who did not swear loyalty to one of the two groups. You either love Preity Zinta, or you hate her, but you cannot remain indifferent.
Another most surprising thing about the theory is that all people belonging to the two groups conform completely to the 3 characteristics that I have mentioned earlier. There are no aberrations. The two groups are rigid and have certain unwritten rules, that are not meant to be broken at any time, under any circumstances.
Reconciliation between the two groups, atleast under the given conditions, seems next to impossible. However, what I would like to point out here is that one need not pledge adherence to one of the groups permanantly. Converts do exist, although they are few in number. Another important feature is that most converts move from the second bloc (The PZ Haters) to the first one (The PZ Likers), with movement in the opposite direction being almost unheard of. The logical conclusion drawn from this particular statement is that as people grow intellectually, they begin to lean towards the PZ liking group. Something like the growth of wisdom teeth.
So go ahead people. Be afraid no more. Make your feelings on the subject known. Let the world know. Announce your allegiance today.
Preferably to the 1st group.
The theory, which shall be known as the 'Opposing Forces' theory states that all males in our society are divided into two groups, which differ significantly in their ideologies.
The first group, can be described as one consisting of Preity Zinta likers. This group has some characteristics that make it distinct from the other group. These characteristics enable the identification of this particular group easily without the overt use of the group defining question, which is "Do you like Preity Zinta?"
The second group, as some of you with more logically inclined intellects will have figured out by now, consists of Preity Zinta haters, or the Preity Zinta non-likers. This group is completely distinct from the group defined earlier. The intersection of these two sets is a null set. In other words, there are NO overlaps.
The Preity Zinta likers have certain distinguishing features. They differ markedly from the Preity Zinta non-likers on the following points.
Firstly, all Preity Zinta likers like Preity Zinta. They adore the characters that she portrays in her movies, and can't stop raving about her cute dimples. Some of the people present in this group think Preity Zinta to be very hot, and follow most of her films pretty religiously. The Preity Zinta haters, predictably, do not like Preity Zinta. They, like the Preity Zinta likers, have extreme views on the subject. One Preity Zinta hater whom I talked to recently went as far as to say, and I quote, "I feel like slapping her every time she comes on screen."
Secondly, all Preity Zinta lovers happen to be intelligent, sophisticated people, who are extremely successful in life, and are fun to talk to. They are excellent conversationalists, and can keep listeners engaged for hours. They also happen to be, in most cases, extremely talkative people. Preity Zinta non-likers, on the other hand, happen to be dull, boring people, whose IQ levels are usually dismally low.
Thirdly, and most importantly, the two groups respond completely differently when asked the following two questions:
1. What do you think about Kareena Kapoor?
2. What do you think about Aishwariya Rai?
Most Preity Zinta likers can't stand Kareena, and think Aish is too plastic and made-up. Most Preity Zinta haters, however, think that Kareena has a lot of 'Sex Appeal', and Aish is the epitome of beauty, whatever that means.
The most salient feature of the 'Opposing Forces' theory is that there are NO in-betweeners. None at all. In my search, I did not come across a single person who did not swear loyalty to one of the two groups. You either love Preity Zinta, or you hate her, but you cannot remain indifferent.
Another most surprising thing about the theory is that all people belonging to the two groups conform completely to the 3 characteristics that I have mentioned earlier. There are no aberrations. The two groups are rigid and have certain unwritten rules, that are not meant to be broken at any time, under any circumstances.
Reconciliation between the two groups, atleast under the given conditions, seems next to impossible. However, what I would like to point out here is that one need not pledge adherence to one of the groups permanantly. Converts do exist, although they are few in number. Another important feature is that most converts move from the second bloc (The PZ Haters) to the first one (The PZ Likers), with movement in the opposite direction being almost unheard of. The logical conclusion drawn from this particular statement is that as people grow intellectually, they begin to lean towards the PZ liking group. Something like the growth of wisdom teeth.
So go ahead people. Be afraid no more. Make your feelings on the subject known. Let the world know. Announce your allegiance today.
Preferably to the 1st group.
posted by Manu Saxena at 7:50:00 pm
7 comments
7 Comments:
Tosh of the highest imaginable order.
so this is what IITians really spend their time doing?!
Dipsites, actually.
I was responsible for the theory :P
And Karan is just upset because he likes Ash and Kareena.
i like PZ but i show the traits of not liking her.. Thus ur theory has failed and as for Caesar i have a very nice game ready(with lottttttts of den.. 1 million and 28 thousand to be precise... want it? )
I also agree with akash and karan....
and i belong to the "I luv Zinta" club but i dont think tht aish is too plastic. as far as KK is concerned.... well, i hate her from the bottom of my heart.
-- Handa
As a man with a scientific temperament,I must admit that my theory has failed, keeping in mind all the proof that has surfaced against it. My apologies to all, and I would like to express my gratitude to those who left comments that helped me in my scientific quest for the truth.
But it was, undoubtedly, a very good hypothesis.
And Maanick, I do want it. The game, that is.
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