Happy Tuesday

Every year, the 14th of February brings with it, as it approaches, dark tidings of evil days ahead. Every year, with unerring inevitability, St. Valentines Day, as it is commonly called, causes an almost overwhelming avalanche of nauseating mush. With sickening menace, it crawls up behind you, unseen and unheard. And then suddenly, it jumps up and corners you with its almost unlimited ammunition of love-struck schoolchildren, red painted hearts, roses, red painted heart-shaped cards, more roses, pink painted hearts, dreamy looking youngsters, more red painted hearts, heart shaped chocolate boxes, pictures of roses, more pink painted hearts, and the odd shameless couple making out in full public view. It is enough to make the strongest stomachs churn with disgust and leave the best of us unsuccessfully trying to grapple with our ill concealed distaste.

One may feel that my views on Valentine's Day are influenced, to a certain extent, by my current single status. Many might say that I am bitter merely because I am single, and that if I was in a relationship, I too, like many others, would be all hearts and candy about the whole phenomenon. I must, therefore, assure you, at this point of time, that that is not the case. I am, and have always been, a vociferous opposition to the whole Valentine's Day deal, although I have not very frequently voiced my opinions on the same. I have, nevertheless, stuck to my views over the past few years, relationship or no relationship. There is something about Valentine's Day that seems to go against my finer feelings. The entire exercise, I feel, is not only disgusting and insides-turning, but useless to the very extreme.

The entire concept of celebrating a relationship when everybody else around you is doing much the same is absurd. And then there is the RSS and The Bajrang Dal.

People, depending upon their personal preferences and idiosyncrasies, have different concepts of an ideal date. Different strokes, for different folks, I always say. But even I, accommodating though I might be, refuse to believe that anyone can genuinely enjoy a date when he (I speak mainly for all men, for the female of the species has a mind of her own, and it works in mysterious and unfathomable ways. You never quite know with them, as I frequently say.) has to keep in mind the fact that he might be thrown stones at or have his head shaved off sometime during it. Why anyone would agree to risk life, limb and hair merely to entertain on a particular day is a subject that has greatly mystified me over the years, and continues to, till this day.

While we are on the subject of the RSS and The Bajrang Dal, I would like to mention that though I might not, and do not, in any way, condone their actions and ideologies on a variety of issues, I do believe that their thoughts on Valentine's Day are not too far from mine. I do admit that when they wrench young men and women away from each others' embraces and proceed to shave off their heads, their methods are, perhaps, a bit crude and unwarranted, but at the same time, I have to say, that anybody who campaigns against Valentine's Day and throws stones at heart shaped paraphernalia, appears to me to be fundamentally sound in his/her thinking.

But I digress. Coming back to the topic under consideration, I would like to conclude as follows.

The square thing, therefore, for any self-respecting couple to do, I think, would be to denounce Valentine's Day in its entirety, and find some other day to cavort around the city. To others, you will give the precious gift of the ability to avoid death by mush-overload. And you wouldn't be doing too bad for yourself either, for the roads will be less congested, the coffee-houses and eating joints quieter, and you wouldn't have to worry too much about dodging stones aimed at you by men in brown shorts.

But what then, some might ask, do we do on Valentine's Day. Do we let this day pass, unaccounted and unused? Do we fail to utilize it? "No", I say. "Use it, by all means." Take my advice, and refrain from gifting your loved ones the usual and unimaginative roses and candy. I, on my part, would encourage you to take some time out and select for your significant other one of a variety of innovative Anti-Valentine Cards instead. In fact, I believe that they are such a good idea that you should go one step further and send them out to your insignificant others as well.

I just sent out 7.

Happy Tuesday.