Oh, Bloody Oh!
This is what I found out today.
It takes an average of 10 years for somebody’s spit to get completely cleared out of your system. 10 years. 10 effing years.
Do you people realize how significant this news is? Do you people have any idea of the implications of this find? It has opened up an entirely new line of thought for me. Questions earlier unthought of are now vying for my very limited mind-space.
It takes an average of 10 years for somebody’s spit to get completely cleared out of your system. 10 years. 10 effing years.
Do you people realize how significant this news is? Do you people have any idea of the implications of this find? It has opened up an entirely new line of thought for me. Questions earlier unthought of are now vying for my very limited mind-space.
Do spits retain their individuality in someone else’s system? Do they practice healthy, communal living, or do they have their own petty feuds and quarrels? Do they lose their vitality and uniqueness with time? Most importantly, what happens when two spits meet?
Spit-Sample 1: Hey. You seem new around here. Who are you?
Spit-Sample 2: Hi! You’re right, I am new here. I arrived yesterday. I’m ABC’s spit. What about you?
SS1: I’m XYZ’s spit. So how might you be doing?
SS2: Quite good. I am, however, a little curious. How did you end up inside Manu?
SS1: Manu? Oh, are you referring to the tall, good-looking guy we’re having this conversation inside? Pretty much the same way you did, I’m guessing.
SS2 (Gasping): WHAT!! How long have you been here?
Case 1 (Manu has a narrow escape):
SS1: A fairly long time, I think. A couple of years, maybe. I’ve begun to get a bit bored, actually. There’s not much to do around here. And to think, I have another 8 or so years to spend like this.
SS2 (Relieved): Oh, it’s okay then. For a minute there I was a bit scared. Anyway, don’t worry too much. We could hang out together if you want. Those are some lovely enzymes you’ve got, by the way. Where did you manage to come across those.
SS1 (Pleased): Ooh, you like them? I got them somewhere near his Pancreas. We could go there sometime.
(They end up going enzyme-shopping together, and compliment each other on their shoes).
Case 2 (Manu is not so lucky):
SS1: Two, maybe three days ago. Why, what happened?
SS2 (Now slightly pale. More pale than usual spit, anyway): WHAT!! The louse. He’s going to pay for this. Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad. Somebody.
(They bitch about Manu and his wanton ways.)
Man, this is scary. I should be afraid. Very afraid. Earth-shattering information like that, I could very well live without.
Spit-Sample 1: Hey. You seem new around here. Who are you?
Spit-Sample 2: Hi! You’re right, I am new here. I arrived yesterday. I’m ABC’s spit. What about you?
SS1: I’m XYZ’s spit. So how might you be doing?
SS2: Quite good. I am, however, a little curious. How did you end up inside Manu?
SS1: Manu? Oh, are you referring to the tall, good-looking guy we’re having this conversation inside? Pretty much the same way you did, I’m guessing.
SS2 (Gasping): WHAT!! How long have you been here?
Case 1 (Manu has a narrow escape):
SS1: A fairly long time, I think. A couple of years, maybe. I’ve begun to get a bit bored, actually. There’s not much to do around here. And to think, I have another 8 or so years to spend like this.
SS2 (Relieved): Oh, it’s okay then. For a minute there I was a bit scared. Anyway, don’t worry too much. We could hang out together if you want. Those are some lovely enzymes you’ve got, by the way. Where did you manage to come across those.
SS1 (Pleased): Ooh, you like them? I got them somewhere near his Pancreas. We could go there sometime.
(They end up going enzyme-shopping together, and compliment each other on their shoes).
Case 2 (Manu is not so lucky):
SS1: Two, maybe three days ago. Why, what happened?
SS2 (Now slightly pale. More pale than usual spit, anyway): WHAT!! The louse. He’s going to pay for this. Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad. Somebody.
(They bitch about Manu and his wanton ways.)
Man, this is scary. I should be afraid. Very afraid. Earth-shattering information like that, I could very well live without.
After all, I’m no Superman.
posted by Manu Saxena at 9:30:00 am
8 comments
8 Comments:
oho! reference to Russell Peters. that stand up was awesome. anyawy, good to see ur post.
n i also liked the reference of the song!!
Oye manu. Somebody gonna getta hurt reeeeeeeeall bad!
good to see both of us back ;)
Hmm...maybe not a superman, but you could try a desi version, like Krrrisshhh
(forgive the spelling, whatever it is)
I say this because the post and the movie are quite similar, in mindlessness.
Good to see you writing still.
Waah! 4 comments. People still do visit this space.
And I'm no Kkkrrrisshh either. I don't think I'd ever want to be. It's difficult to be someone whose name you have difficulty spelling.
Lame. Your blog was better off without your 'return'
Rohan, a good day to you too.
I'm thinking twice before kissing someone the next time!
[Never thought I'd ever say those word! :P]
all of a sudden, i dont feel so bad about having never been kissed... am so going to make my friends from college read this... aaaahhh but to witness the look on their faces :P
love russel peters
"a girl from ice land and a dude from cuba... little ice cubes"
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