Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Kanthapura

SPOILER WARNING: Plot and/or ending details about Kanthapura, by Raja Rao, follow.
The following piece of text is intended to be viewed only by people who have read the book, or have no intention of doing so in the near future and are here merely so that they can survive the minor tomorrow.

The HUL 239 minor is to be held tomorrow. Most of the people I am doing the course with are yet to embark on the long and arduous journey that reading Kanthapura entails. I don't blame them. Kanthapura is, easily, one of the most boring books ever written. I sympathize with them and understand their rather difficult position. It is with them in mind that I begin writing this post. Feeling particularly benevolent right now, I intend to spend the next half an hour outlining, in some detail, the main themes and incidents the novel concerns itself with. So go ahead. Read this post. Print it out, run copies, and share it freely with your friends. Write it down in your notebooks, if need be, for what I am about to tell you will get you through tomorrow's minor.

Kanthapura, as a novel, sucks. It is the first major Indian novel in English. It is also boring, long, and old. It is one of the few novels by an Indian writer in English that is almost entirely untouched by Western values or attitudes. It was first published in London in 1938, and didn't, very understandably, sell much. It was only later, after India had gained her independence, and ineffectual courses like HUL 239 had been introduced at crappy Indian universities, that Kanthapura sales rocketed, and made Raja Rao a rich man overnight. The book has a history of inducing wild patriotism and long periods of extreme ennui among readers. It is an established cure for insomnia. And it doesn't cost too much.

The Language
The language one comes across in Kanthapura is strange and unlike anything else seen before. It is a highly bent, broken and battered form of the English we are all accustomed to. The words are dull and short, and are selected carefully so as to generate the maximum amount of boredom possible among readers. The narrative brightens up only during the parts in which the colorfully-named characters abuse each other. Characters in Kanthapura come up, whenever called upon to, with the choicest of insults. The only part of the novel I shall probably remember for the rest of my life is abc-amma calling xyz-ayya 'a son of a concubine.'
The style of writing is rambling, diffuse, and mostly incoherent. The excuse provided is the 'Difficulty in conveying, in a language that is not one's own, the spirit that is one's own.' The narration is, allegedly, flowing and digressive. While the individual words seem to make perfect sense, the sentences are just meaningless and insurmountable chunks of lettering. As you read through the novel, it would seem, initially, as if everything was progressing just as it should be, but sit back for a moment, and all you will be able to recall are long meandering lumps of writing separated by periods.

The Story
The story, at the beginning, is very boring. That sort of sets the tone for the entire book.
Kanthapura is the story of a village in South India called, very predictably, Kanthapura. The narrator is a widow named Achakka. Kanthapura, according to her, is much like other villages. It is divided along caste lines, but is, at the same time, harmonious and united. All the villagers are mutually bound in their social and economic functions.
Religion plays an important part in the village, and the two main religious influences are 'Kenchamma', the village Goddess, and Himavathy, the river flowing near Kanthapura. The various ceremonies and festivals held in the village hold the villagers together religiously.
The story has two main individual leaders, Mahatma Gandhi, who, very wisely, chooses to remain out of the novel, and Moorthy, the main protagonist. The story takes off, if it ever does, when Moorthy, a young Brahmin, suddenly gets influenced by the Mahatma. He starts spreading the Mahatma's message among the villagers. He visits the city sometime during the beginning of the narrative, and returns a 'Gandhi Man'. The villagers, in the absence of anything better to do, start taking Moorthy seriously.
Moorthy gets support from Rangamma, a kind old widow, Ratna, a hot young widow, and Patel Range Gowda, a man. Together, they form a Congress committee in Kanthapura and, as per the Mahatma's philosophy, start mingling with the lower castes. They face skeptisicm from many, like the foul-mouthed Venkamma. They also face opposition from Bhatta (an ass) and Swami (a local religious leader), who threatens them with excommunication. All this becomes too much for Moorthy's mother, Narsamma, to handle. She cries a lot, and then, very prudently, makes a hasty exit from the lousy-excuse-for-a-novel. In other words, she dies.
The real resistance comes from the British, symbolized by a horny white man at the Skeffington Coffee Estate, and Bade Khan. As Moorthy expands his committee, the British get impatient, and finally send policemen to arrest Moorthy. The villagers protest, but Moorthy gives himself up silently and peacefully, and urges the villagers to do the same, if and when the need arose. He is taken to Karwar, where he refuses the services of a lawyer, thinking that The Truth shall protect him. When he finds out it won't, it is too late, and he ends up spending 3 months in jail.
In Moorthy's absence, Sankar takes his place at the head of the Congress committee. The British bribe the Swami with fertile land. The villagers fast for 3 days for Moorthy, and then the women decide to form a Sevika Sangh. Their husbands object, ostensibly because they thought the women would neglect their chores, but actually because they thought they weren't getting laid frequently enough. The men and women, however, soon reach a compromise (I think they drew up a schedule) and start working together for the greater good.
When Moorthy is released, he picks up where he had left off. Soon after, Gandhi launches the Non-Cooperation movement with the Dandi March. The villagers follow the march carefully, and start preparing for their own Non-Cooperation movement.
That's when the toddy shop business begins. The people of Kanthapura, in a fit of enthusiastic impracticality, decide to picket the toddy shops. They are joined by volunteers from the cities, and coolies from Skeffington.
So the villagers march to picket, but encounter the police en route. The policemen have guns, and they use them. They also beat the villagers mercilessly. Moorthy and a few other people get arrested. A couple of people die. One woman gets raped, and another delivers a child. All this amidst a one-sided, LOTR-style war scene.
The policemen win. They start wreaking havoc on Kanthapura. The women who are left behind decide to burn the village, rather than let the fields and houses fall into the hands of the oppressors. The village, therefore, burns, and in the end, there remains neither man nor mosquito in Kanthapura.
Then begins the journey to another village. The women reach a place called Kashipura after going through many difficulties. Once there, they stay there.
The Mahatma, in the meanwhile, signs a treaty with the Viceroy that frees all the non-violent prisoners. Many villagers, including Ratna, are released, and return to tell the villagers at Kashipura the conditions inside the prisons. Moorthy, however, does not return to Kashipura. Seeing his ambitions thwarted, he reacts in a way common to the youth in those days. He goes over to the Nehru Camp. However, he soon realizes that playing second fiddle to a well-dressed, young and smooth-talking man is a much more difficult and frustrating task than playing second fiddle to an old, bald, half-naked and bespectacled one. He then becomes disillusioned with life and the Freedom Struggle, becomes an inveterate alcoholic, comes out of the closet, and, on not receiving the public acceptance and sympathy he had hoped for, commits suicide.

The Message
There are two rather important messages that the novel deals with.
Firstly, the role of the National Struggle in changing the very framework under which our society traditionally functioned. Throughout the narrative, we see the gradual blurring of caste lines. We see how the village changed and became a strong unit in the face of crises, and most importantly, how the changes in the village structure came not from the outside or due to any external agent, but from the inside, due to the efforts put in by the villagers. Moorthy plays a very important role in the novel in this regard.
Secondly, the Feminine Principle fundamental to the narrative. While the novel does not explicitly question the then existing gender equations, it does tell us the rising importance of women in society, and how that rising importance was both a cause and effect of the National Movement. While subjects like equality and husband-wife relations have not been questioned, they have been commented upon. Most importantly, it has been mentioned that the women of India played an active part in India's struggle for Independence, and while they might not have been viewed as equals by men then, they were not treated with outright contempt either.

That about wraps it up for Kanthapura.

If you just read this post, and still can't understand a thing, here's what you do. Memorize the following phrases. Learn them up by heart. Then use them lavishly in you minor answers. I guarantee results.
1. "Microcosm of the Indian National Movement"
2. "You son of a Concubine."
3. Peaceful Non-violence/Non-violent Peace/Satyagraha
4. "Corner-House Moorthy"
5. "You son of a Concubine."
6. "Kenchamma Kenchamma"
7. "Picket-Toddy-Shop"
8. "You son of a Concubine."

On the 1st of August, from about 11 to 12, May The Force Be With You.

28 Comments:

Blogger Phoenix said...

Thanx for ur painstaking enlightening views..i appreciate ur effort, but readers must employ their discretion while coptin down ur phrases...:P
I mean, if i write, that this lousy-excuse-for-a-novel is a significant piece in Indian Writing in English because of it's broken battered language, choicest insults, rambling and diffuse writing style where the protagonist is taken seriously only because ppl have nothing better to do and i actually a disillusioned inveterate alcoholic obsessed with a hot widow, I'm sure to flunk it.

BTW, if i remember correctly, the last part of the story that u've mentioned...However....suicide is NOT actually in the story itself. I guess it's there in the sequel.

7:13 am, August 31, 2005  
Blogger Phoenix said...

On the 1st of August, from about 11 to 12, May The Force Be With You.



SEPTEMBER

Sorry, but just had to!
[:P]

7:58 am, August 31, 2005  
Blogger Ménk said...

A fact that many ppl liked to know was that Moorthy's actual name was Moorthappa. And OYEEE manu. after 4 painstricken nights i somehow managed to read the entire book but anywayz i had missed many facts that i have now come to know from ur post so thanx.

3:11 pm, August 31, 2005  
Blogger quagmire said...

Mr Raja Rao, I think, just turned in his grave...

2:41 pm, September 01, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mann...
lol

12:58 pm, September 02, 2005  
Blogger Aseem said...

Moorthy gets support from Rangamma, a kind old widow, Ratna, a hot young widow, and Patel Range Gowda, a man.

Funny.

4:39 pm, September 03, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Thank you. Thank you very much.

6:38 pm, September 03, 2005  
Blogger Aseem said...

(sigh)

8:34 pm, September 03, 2005  
Blogger GB said...

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA :) I never managed to get beyond the first ten pages. Thank you, I have my Indian Writing paper on the 21st.

Btw, I'm doing English Literature in Chennai and quite a few of my classmates have read this post in the hope of passing the exam :p

10:55 am, November 17, 2005  
Blogger I'M A ROMANTIC said...

I know exactly what you mean when u say kanthapura sucks i'm doing my MA from Pune Univ and we have this stupid idiotic moronic novel and studying it is a complete torture and i 2 think that the only phrase that i'll remember from this novel will be "You son of a Concubine."
you have done justice
lovely yaar completely lovely

1:34 pm, April 11, 2006  
Blogger S said...

I am not a lit student, but began reading Kanthapura hearing its popularity. But, somehow, I am not able to progress beyong first few pages.... boring..true. Its written in an Oral style. not suited for reading....
S.
http://vbsowmya.wordpress.com

2:22 pm, March 08, 2007  
Blogger Steve B. said...

I am currently reading this novel for a south asian studies class. I was looking for a plot summary online (seeing as how I cannot keep track of these tens of names, each of which is over five syllables,) and came across your blog; I must agree with you that this novel is the most boring I have read. Over the last two hours I have progressed perhaps 5 pages, simply because my mind (and sometimes my body) wanders while I try to read this irrelevant, meandering monologue disguised as literature. I would suggest that any person required to read this book invest in some form of stimulant in order to stay conscious. I would suggest that any person reading this book voluntarily seek psychological treatment.

~Steve

10:57 pm, March 28, 2007  
Blogger NV said...

Thanx manu!

5:31 pm, May 30, 2007  
Blogger Ann Dee said...

Agree, as a novel, Kanthapura condensed would read “A complete drag, do not read”!

Inspiration:
But, as students of Literature (only this chunk can make it to the end for sure), we have to consider the inclusion of the novel in the curriculum in proper perspective, rather than denouncing it altogether. It is a representative text of a particular genre of writing. The thought process is ‘not-English’ and you will have to appreciate the authenticity of the mother tongue so notably maintained (what if it feels like cycling through a hilly cobblestoned tract).

Inside Story:
I am stuck at Pg. 50 since the last two days and it is beginning to remind me of sedatives now. Fitting in Kanthapura to 8 hours at office, coming home, cooking dinner – is getting morbid, if you ask me! But finish the book I have to.

Advise: Phrase your answers diplomatically. Your examiners will find out if you're all praises.

7:43 am, October 26, 2007  
Blogger P. said...

Oh please. What a load of exaggeration. It might not be the most exciting book in the world, but it's more than readable. Just because it's different from usual fare, and written pre-Independence, is no reason to annihilate it so mercilessly. It's a reading experience if nothing else. Deal with it!

9:30 pm, May 14, 2008  
Blogger vidi said...

Hahahah! "You son of a Concubine" is definitely going down in my paper tomorrow!

6:04 am, November 18, 2008  
Blogger KARA said...

Thank you so very much for this!
You are awesome and my hero.

1:43 am, March 10, 2010  
Blogger Kanika said...

Waaaaat even Chennai and Pune university have included this sporofic text in their curriculum!! And I thought Delhi University people are the only nuts around. Thats some consolation :)Thanks for the summary dude. Have my exam on the 6th of May and was unable to cull enough guts to read the text in time for the exam. Going by my talents for fooling the examiner I think should be able to stretch this into a 5 page answer!!

12:11 pm, April 27, 2010  
Blogger Paavani said...

Thank you for saving me from this idiotic novel.... the most use worthy phrase is "you son of a concubine" lol! i've not been able to progress beyond the first 20 pages of this book. boring is the word that is describes it in the most polite way! and since my exam is day after i was dreading the task of reading this "novel" thanks a bunch!

2:17 pm, May 06, 2010  
Blogger @ngel ~ said...

Very well ... I didnt read all ... but I wouldn't need to read more than few lines...
I have just read Kanthapura , and sorry to say that you are misguiding people , cz its not dat boring , neither it is an idiotic text. It has its meaning and style and purpose ...
I cant help recalling the lines of Stern for his novel Tristram Shandy - -
"I write a careless kind of a civil , nonsensical , good-humoured , Shandian book , which will do all your hearts good ----------
----- And all you heads too - provided you understand it."

At least best works of literature ( by general consideration) should be respected even if you find it - boring ... think like this - there must be something which I couldn't understand.

1:57 pm, October 10, 2010  
Blogger Unknown said...

It really isn't that bad. As a stuident of literature you really should be able to respe3ct his fair short yet intriguing book.

9:40 am, February 03, 2011  
Blogger R.T. said...

Wow! :) Not boring at all when you put it like that!
Thumbs up, Mate!

3:02 pm, May 05, 2011  
Blogger isha said...

thankyou for makin it so hilarious.. your blog really helped... keep blogging about more boring books for consistently lazy students like me. :) :)

9:25 pm, May 27, 2011  
Blogger rusmin said...

donno how to thank u, my exams on june8th. btw "you son of a concubine" definitely goes to my paper

6:47 pm, May 29, 2011  
Blogger Shakti said...

ahaha thanks. it's been, um, six years since you posted this and kanthapura is still being shoved down the throats of hapless lit students all over the land. i'm throwing mumbai university into the mix, or maybe just xavier's, they're cruel in their own right. sons of concubines.

sadly my lit prof wouldn't really appreciate your version of events, but i do! i'm feeling much better about failing. well, if not better, then certainly funnier.

-shakti

5:18 am, August 25, 2011  
Blogger Unknown said...

I could hug you. Why with more amazing books than one could read in a lifetime do instructors assign boring ass books like this? My professor is such a windbag he probably sleeps with a copy of Kanthapura under his pillow. Thanks for your funny and helpful summary. I will now skim through the remaining 140 pages at my leisure.

11:20 pm, February 13, 2014  
Blogger Annie said...

Rofl!! Your mind blowing critical analysis of Kanthapura has put the life back into this 'more dead than a dead rat' novel!! "You son of a Concubine!"....epic presentation of a quote!! ;-)
Carry on the good work of humourous critical appraisals. You rock!!

9:22 am, September 04, 2014  
Blogger ash said...

You . Are . God. I have my Indian Writing in English paper tomorrow. Bring it on! :D

6:45 pm, May 19, 2015  

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Monday, August 29, 2005

Iris

And I’d give up forever to touch you,
’cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be,
And I don’t want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
’cause sooner or later it’s over,
I just don’t want to miss you tonight.

And I don’t want the world to see me,
’cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming.
Or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies.
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive.

And I don’t want the world to see me,
’cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don’t want the world to see me,
’cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Arbitaapa

Here at IITD, the minors are upon us once again, and as always, they bring out nothing but the worst in all of us. There is just a slight difference. This time, I am strangely unconcerned. All about me, students are losing their heads over AML 160 and EEL 102. Everyone is worried about syllabi and there seems to be a mad rush to procure textbooks. I, on the other hand, have no idea about the date-sheet, and my textbooks are lying around in friends’ cars. All I know is that the minor tests start sometime on Thursday, and I have to take six of them within a period of 3 days. Thursday, however, seems a fair distance away, and as of now, I am spending my days much like I have till now, averaging 2 ‘Coupling’ episodes, 2 ‘South Park’ episodes, 1 ‘The Simpsons’ episode, 1 ‘That 70’s Show’ episode, and a couple of hours of Need For Speed Underground a day, except for on weekends, when I have to forego ‘The Simpsons’ and ‘That 70’s Show’ thanks to the bastards in charge of program scheduling back at Star World. I do not, as yet, feel the tiniest bit of guilt, as I would surely have half a year back, for so blatantly wasting my time. I might flunk all my minors (which, as I said a bit earlier, no longer concerns me), but in the meanwhile, I seem to be having a pretty good time.

I did, however, try studying a bit in the afternoon yesterday, just to see what it feels like after all this time. But I fell asleep reading my notes. I woke up in the evening and tried again, and fell asleep again. I woke up this morning and actually managed to get past an entire page before my attention got diverted. Being far too well rested to sleep again, I ended up drawing moustaches on all the people in the newspaper (which was unlucky enough to be lying around) with my black pen. They came out pretty well too.

Moving on, a friend has successfully undergone an overnight transformation into an ass. One day he was okay, and the next he was suddenly acting all hoity-toity, bitching about me all over the place. It was quite alarming, seeing a normal and good-natured person change into a foul-mouthed ass.
Now, as a rule, I do not hold grudges against people who bitch about me or detest me, mainly because, being one of the most arrogant and intolerable people around, I realize that I well deserve most of the names by which I am addressed, and that if I went around holding grudges against people who call me these names, I would probably be holding grudges against most of the people I know, and quite a few I don’t. But there are limits to my tolerance, and overnight changes in attitude, I found out recently, surpass these limits. Overnight changes piss me off. They disturb routine. And when they involve a ‘friend’ destroying my meticulously cultivated image among people I have known for a fairly long period of time, they disturb routine rather adversely. I could, of course, talk to the person involved, sort things out, and, that done, proceed to forget about the entire incident, but, aggressive and vengeful bastard that I am, I shall not. I shall have to, to put it quite bluntly, kill him.

While we are on the subject of killing, Kanthapura is killing me. It is the most boring book ever, and the language is all awry. I could have, like most of my friends (Many of them are doing the same Humanities course as I am, and have to, therefore, read Kanthapura like me.) left it midway, but I have issues with leaving books half-read. I have never, and I say this with much pride, abandoned a book midway, which basically means nothing more than the fact that I have spent a very large part of my life reading absolute crap. I could go on and on about Kanthapura, but I intend to devote an entire post to it, for a few of my friends have urged me to write a brief summary of it on this blog, so that they can save themselves the trouble of going through it on their own. I shall, therefore, refrain from further commenting on the book in this post.

In other news, quizzing season at IITD has begun. The first inter-hostel quiz of the year was held on Friday. Rohan Trivedi and Shalabh Gupta, the quizmasters, did a wonderful job, and came up with some amazing questions. The quiz was, consequently, lots of fun. It was also lots of fun because, for the first time since I’ve been participating in QC events, our team came first. From what I heard later, it has been a rather long time since Jwalamukhi finished first in an inter-hostel quiz. Wonderful, innit?

What’s even more wonderful is the fact that I started growing my first wisdom tooth yesterday. It came out of my gums. It hurts a lot, but I don’t mind much, for, contrary to all indications, I might finally be growing up.

6 Comments:

Blogger Tipsy Topsy said...

Congrats on winning the quiz and all the best for the minors.

6:37 am, August 29, 2005  
Blogger Aseem said...

Pretentious bastard !!

9:20 am, August 29, 2005  
Blogger Phoenix said...

Applause to the self-proclaimed proud bastard, for his outrageous honesty...

even though I read it long ago, (at least two weeks now) I have proudly forgotten most things about Kanthapura(attribute this to the fact that my tryst with Rajarao was mostly when I was half-asleep, or too irritated). so pls, make the summary post soon, if possible with all those language etc implications, so that I manage to pass at least one minor:((((

Ok, now me's off to find tutors for the remaining courses too...

10:39 am, August 29, 2005  
Blogger quagmire said...

Entertaining post, but Mr. Suri has just pointed out that you are a Two-Faced-Bitch, who studies uptil 3 Am and cribs about minors all day long and then writes a post like this. I tend to agree.

5:36 pm, August 29, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Mr. Suri is a lying bitch. I was, I admit, up till 3 AM yesterday, but only because I was watching Coupling.

TT, thanks.

Phoenix, it shall come tomorrow.

8:04 pm, August 29, 2005  
Blogger Ménk said...

mr. suri is no lying bitch, u MANhUsss

3:41 pm, August 31, 2005  

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Goody Goody Gumdrops. Again.

I received the perfect birthday present yesterday.
Curiously enough it came not from my family or my friends, but in the form of an advertisement on Star World.

Seinfeld is soon going to be back on Indian TV.
Woohoo.

6 Comments:

Blogger Phoenix said...

when was ur bday?
yesterday?

so sorry i ddint know/..anyway belated bday wishes:)

3:12 pm, August 19, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Phoenix, thank you. It was yesterday. Make sure you remember next year.

5:52 pm, August 19, 2005  
Blogger Ménk said...

as a matter of fact manu, i think u've forgotten ur own bday. u know, both these comments were posted on 19th and till now, i believed ur bday was the 17th, which technically makes it day b4 yesterday.

7:09 pm, August 19, 2005  
Blogger AP said...

Oh yes! Seinfeld!

10:48 am, August 20, 2005  
Blogger Aseem said...

Menk, let me do the honours, seeing as it was manu's birthday a while back..

' Go stick your head in a pig!! '

7:48 pm, August 20, 2005  
Blogger Phoenix said...

Decide manu...17th or 18th..waise orkut says 17th for u...and u sy on 19th that it was 18th..
anyway watever it is, I'll remember it next yr and for all yrs to come, as long as u remember my trt:P

11:13 am, August 22, 2005  

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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Hum bhi agar...

Hum bhi agar bachche hote,
Naam hamara hota Babloo Dabloo,
Khane ko milte laddoo,
Aur duniya kehti, "Happy Birthday to You."

7 Comments:

Blogger AP said...

Happy birthday to you

1:05 pm, August 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

happy birthday to you"

-Red colored Green Monster

4:41 pm, August 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A very (blated) happy birthday, Manu.

Isn't this a very nice, sombre way to start my comments on your blog???

9:34 am, August 18, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Anjul, thanks.
Duniya/RCGM, thanks.
Deepu, thanks. It is, indeed. Keep visiting.

5:27 pm, August 18, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

happy b'day,dude.

6:39 am, August 19, 2005  
Blogger Phoenix said...

sorry for being late, but happy bday sir:)

3:16 pm, August 19, 2005  
Blogger Neel Arurkar said...

Ah! Belated HBD

4:26 pm, August 25, 2005  

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Monday, August 15, 2005

Where's my Bush?

Note to readers: I am an apolitical person. This is an apolitical blog. This post shall, therefore, make no reference to a certain Mr. George W. Bush. All of you who have been misled by the post-title, and are expecting a post that describes, in meticulous detail, Mr. Bush's unique existence on this planet, are advised to leave. For you shall not get what you seek here. I would like to say, however, that my reserving comment on Mr. Bush does, in no way, mean that he isn't as big a blundering buffoon as he is universally acknowledged to be.

Curiously enough, this post is about MEP 201, or more precisely, Mechanical Engineering Drawing, the most exasperating course ever designed to be a part of any curriculum anywhere.

Those who view this blog regularly (Losers!!) will know that I have spoken about MEP 201 before. Still, I feel I must refresh everyone's memory before I proceed further.

The story thus far: MEP 201 sucks. All the teachers are sicksadistic bastards. And they use fresh wax on the slanting tables before each class to make them as slippery as possible. They shall rot in hell. Every last one of 'em.

And now to continue: Mechanical Engineering Drawing, or MEP 201 is a pathetic and painful 4-credit course. It has one lecture class every week that takes place on Tuesday, and one practical class every week that takes place on Monday. We are given Tutorial-sheets during lectures, and we are supposed to draw what the sheets tell us to draw during the practicals. What's sad is that there is almost a one week gap between the lectures and practicals, and since one week is enough time to lose the average Tutorial-sheet twenty-eight times over, most of us reach the practicals without the faintest idea of what we have to do. The fact that the professor taking the course is, like most professors at IIT, an utter ass who refuses to give out spares in case Tutorial-sheets get lost doesn't really help. What really gets to me, however, is the fact that he takes attendance as if we're all prison inmates. He addresses us by numbers ('Quaidi number 746' types) rather than names. The ass calls me 495. 495. Can you believe it. 495 is like the worst number ever. Just my luck to get stuck with it.

But the professor notwithstanding, lecture classes are just about tolerable. They last only an hour, and can be spent sleeping/awake depending on one's own personal preferences, and one's distance from the professor. The practicals, on the other hand, are four hours long. 4 friggin' hours long. And we have to stand through them. Not sit. Stand. For 4 hours. And the work to be done in 4 hours is roughly the work an average man does in a lifetime. So unless you stay sharp and spend every minute with your nose glued to the drawing-sheet, you will, in all probability, be unable to finish your work, and you'll get no marks for that particular practical. Even if you do manage to stay sharp and spend every minute with your nose glued to the drawing-sheet, you will still, in all probability, be unable to finish your work, but that is a risk you must run. The only guaranteed and sure-shot method to finish the work in 4 hours is to ensure you sit next to Mr. Mridul Ganesh, in which case you have to merely copy measurements and deal with the waxed desks.

And dealing with the waxed desks is no mean job. For everything slips. Pencils slip. Pens slip. Protractors and set-squares slip. Tapes and sharpeners slip. Even erasers slip.
And then there are the compasses. And since compasses rain like cats and dogs on precious body organs, and miss only narrowly each time, one does not, fairly understandably, look forward, with infinite eagerness, to the next MEP 201 practical class.

But that's not the worst part. Not by far. The worst part is the embarrassing questions people ask. "Can I see your bush?", they ask hopefully, and seeing me shrink in horror and disgust, they add, somewhat helpfully, "Only a brief glance, I promise. I won't take long." And they say it so naturally and unhesitatingly, you'd think it was their birth-right.
The first time I was asked that, I, like any other sane and self-respecting person would have done, flatly refused, at which the requester had merely shrugged nonchalantly and had moved on to the person sitting next to me, who, I have a feeling, had readily obliged, for I saw the two of them walking together, laughing loudly, immediately after the class.
I would have forgotten all about the incident, but the questions just kept coming, and the fifth one, if I remember correctly, set me thinking. "What's with everyone?", I thought to myself, "Why the sudden fascination?" And that was when it hit m. As I stared at the assembly components I had drawn (shabbily, I might add), thinking hard, I suddenly saw the light. I looked for my Tutorial-sheet, for it alone had the power to confirm my beliefs, and sure enough, s I looked at it, there they were, the small and poorly-Xeroxed letters I was looking for: COMPONENT 7: BUSH.
After this, every time someone asked me if they could take a look at 'my bush', I, being the person I am, went into a 20 minute-long, hysterical, laughing fit, five minutes into which the requester merely shrugged nonchalantly and moved on to the person sitting next to me. I, in the deal, spent most of my practical class laughing, taking brief breaks only to dodge falling compasses and to hurriedly copy Mridul's work.

But today is the 15th of August. Today is our Independence Day. And I am feeling uncharacteristically patriotic, for today is also a Monday, and I am tremendously happy. Happy that our great nation won her independence just when she did, which enabled, 58 years later, a boy named Manu Saxena to celebrate the day in its true spirit, by proclaiming freedom from an MEP 201 practical that would have otherwise taken place as on every Monday, and freedom from being asked embarrassing questions, that would have undoubtedly been asked during it, and freedom from dependence on Mridul to complete drawings and assignments, albeit for a day (I have MEL 211 to catch up on before tomorrow afternoon).
But most importantly, I thank this day for allowing me the opportunity to keep my genitals safe and impalement-free. For another whole week.

9 Comments:

Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

badiya hai bete
lage raho... bush vush etc

(MD is the sole reason which makes me hate mech engg. btw)

6:17 pm, August 15, 2005  
Blogger quagmire said...

3 credits B****, 3 freakin meazly credits.

6:41 pm, August 15, 2005  
Blogger Ménk said...

MANNHUUUS! it is just 3 credits!! which now makes me think whether it is worth spending 4 hours in that hell of a place, standing, damaging your brain continuously, than to just copy from the ever supportive Dhawal.

8:39 am, August 16, 2005  
Blogger Abhinav Sharma said...

first, it is 3 credits.
Secondly,ur comments about the prof just echo my feelings towards him too. Once i sat through his class without an attendance coz the maniac just came into the room amongst all mayhem, and suddenly out of the blue called up 467 , a nano second later he moved on to 471, without anyone of us realisng that the guy was taking the attendance. Unfortunately I was 467, and I lost my attendace that day coz of " not being attentive in the class. ". Although I am quite sure that I would have echoed ur sentiments about him even without this little incident taking place , but this was the icing on the cake.
And if somebody wants to know each and everything about MEP201 they can contact Mr Shaurya Gupta, for whom this course hall remain etched in his memeory as long as he lives and may be even after that.
PS: Shaurya got a C- in the course.
And he too, like me did not get attendance in one lecture, being "non attentive in class."

1:19 pm, August 16, 2005  
Blogger Tipsy Topsy said...

Heppy Budday Kiddo!

5:24 am, August 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha! That was really funny. You reminded me of the engineering drawing classes back in my IIT days!

5:44 am, August 18, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Enough already. So I said 3 credits instead of 4. Big deal. The amount of work I put into it, it seems more like 5.

Abhinav, I shall make it a point to exchange views with Mr. Shaurya Gupta on the topic of MEP 201.

TT, thanks. I appreciate it.

5:25 pm, August 18, 2005  
Blogger Aseem said...

So I said 3 credits instead of 4.

Umm....no you did not. You said quite the opposite actually.

(you gonna whack me with a dhaastar now?)

7:46 pm, August 20, 2005  
Blogger shaurya vaani said...

although i m a bit late now but cant help.....saw ur blog 4 the first time.well as far as mep201 goes,my friend i can really frm deep inside my heart symathise and empathise with u.it was the course which ripped me apart to the fullest nd really brought my whole enthusiasm towards increasing my cgpa towards a permanent halt.i had scored the lowest in the whole department in the first minor(13/100).u know wat.........it was the 12th practical of this course when our grp came to know tht the person who sits in our class was a proff(A ray) who was assigned to help us during our pracs.u cannot really imagine the state of helpness i used to be in during the minors nd pracs of this course.our proff chawla sucked like nything.nd finally when majors came,when i had lost all hopes but then surprisingly i found the paper pretty descent nd according to me did farely well in it.so was expecting B- in this course.but the day grades came it was all over for me.tht bloody chawla had given me C- by 0.26 marks after i had finally scored 53.76.adding to this the agony of missing the A(wud hav been my first A)in EEL101 by 0.5 marks.

my cg dropped below 8.it was all over nd its still all over for me.

3:32 pm, August 28, 2005  

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We are like this only

I was talking to a friend a little while back, and something she said reminded me, very unexpectedly, of a particular incident that took place about a decade back, almost to the day. Surprisingly enough, it remains, even today, as clear in my mind as it was 10 years back.

Scene: Manu Saxena's Class IV PTA, taking place in Manu Saxena's Ground-Floor classroom, at Delhi Public School, Vasant Vihar. As the scene opens, Manu Saxena's parents are seating themselves in front of Manu Saxena's class-teacher, and a highly unusual discussion on Manu Saxena's progress in class is about to ensue.

Manu Saxena's Parents: We are Manu Saxena's parents.
Manu Saxena's Class-Teacher: Aah. Manu Saxena.
Parents: Yep. Manu Saxena.
Class-Teacher: Wonderful. He's a wonderful child.
Parents (Taken aback and quite visibly surprised): He is? How come we never knew about it?
Class-Teacher: He is one of my best students.
Parents (Still unconvinced): Are we talking about the same person here?
Class-Teacher: Of course. I know Manu well. He's a wonderful student. He's academically strong, does all the work he is asked to do and more, and is, by far, the most animated and spirited child in class. There's just one slight problem.
Parents: And that is?
Class-Teacher: He doesn't use the door.
Parents: ???
Class-Teacher: He uses the window instead.

My 19th birthday shall come along in a couple of days. It scares me. Terrifies me, even. In another year I'll be twenty. Twenty. I'll be all old and responsible and old. Nevertheless, it's good to know that I still have a year. And it's even better to know how little things have changed over the past decade. I wish things could always remain the way they are. It's just too bad they can't.

4 Comments:

Blogger Tipsy Topsy said...

PTA meetings were always boring. There were never any issues to discuss. We used to be out of the school in record time. Enjoyed the celebratory breakfasts at Udipi though.

I feel younger at 21 than I felt at 19. At 19, your teens are ENDING.At 20-21, your twenties are just BEGINNING!!

Will return to wish you on your birthday.

10:11 am, August 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a horrible thing for a guy to turn 20. I did a while back, and I ain't liking it one bit! The moment you turn 20, all the compassion everyone had for u suddenly dies and u get to hear "Be a man" and "You are a man now" and some more of such unrealistic crap. May God give u all the courage next year!

---anony-mouse

1:21 pm, August 15, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

TT, thank you. You make me feel much better.
Anony-mouse, you don't. So, as a good friend of mine would put it, chataaaaap...!!

6:13 pm, August 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

chataaaaap i will.... but deep down u knw that i spake the truth and that TT stands for table tennis.. MUHUHAHAHAHA

---anony-mouse.

7:59 pm, August 15, 2005  

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Ohaiyo Gozai Masu

Where's my Dhaastaar?

20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

good morning to you too!!
WTF is a Dhaastaar????

7:32 am, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

A Dhaastaar is what I shall hit you with for asking such an impudent question.

7:45 pm, August 11, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

???? whats IMPUDENT about it???

11:04 am, August 12, 2005  
Blogger Ménk said...

Finally i've had enough with ppl asking me when ur bday is, manu!! so now i tell the long unanswered qt for anya n aseem. it's 17th this month. sorry manu. delete this comment if u wish to.

11:33 am, August 12, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

For that, Mayank, you shall, when I see you next, get a whack on the head with a Dhaastaar.

8:08 pm, August 12, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

see Manu,the uchaller has returned!now you have to pay (literally)
If you give a party dont forget to invite me!! heheheheh >;)
are you giving a blog party????

2:20 am, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

manu..
im not in a joking mood now!

hmmmm... ok i am

so whats a bloody dhastaaaaaar?

tell me
or else ....
u will pay for this

8:50 am, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

oh shit mannnnnu!

tu bhi aug wala hai!

can u imagine 6 9tanks have bdays in aug

(if u dont know, 9tanks is the name of r group.. translate into hindi n ull know its significance)

sab log aug mein paida ho jate hain

10:41 am, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Ménk said...

Don't bother yaar mani. It is just a stupid thing u don't want to bother about. I'll tell u about a dhastaar if we meet on tues. i've declared enough secrets, which manu did not want revealed, this weekend.

12:07 pm, August 13, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dhastaar = duster
(based on my interpretation)

2:52 pm, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

ty anon
now my interpretation tells me
that one of manu's MEP teachers calls duster dhastaar and this makes manu highly excited...

manu u deserve a chapaat!
(u know where to go for that .. do you?)

3:08 pm, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

i have solved ze mystery

Its some mech teacher who comes into their class n says

"Good Morning!
Where's my duster"

He looks japanese(or maybe not) and hence all this leaves a mark on manu's mind, hence he writes a post called ohayo gozaimasu meaning good morning on this blog. :D

6:05 pm, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Aseem said...

You guys sure have a lot of free time on hand.

6:20 pm, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

oye.. the watch on my hand is not free.. its worth is more than Rs 1000 (i think so)

hence the time on my hand is not free

6:58 pm, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Akanksha said...

Hey!!
been a long time...
my best frend's b'day too is on the 17th.
anyway, happy advance b'day!!

9:37 am, August 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

red coloured blahahglsdhfsbd
is FULL of Sh*T!!!!!
(Like MOI).

1:29 pm, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

considering it coming from you papadas,
i would take it as a compliment..

2:41 pm, August 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PONDER!!! on your statement!!!
haha !!!
"apne hi paire pe kulhadi maarna"
proves my point people!!
*bows and accepts applause*

3:14 pm, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Mani and Papadas, go stick your heads in a pig.

Akanksha, thank you. Wish your best friend a very happy birthday on my behalf.

7:01 pm, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

beware manu
im coming!

7:06 pm, August 14, 2005  

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Monday, August 08, 2005

The 'interesting' Freshers' Quiz

Before I begin on this post, a few clarifications, I feel, are due.

Hej! is a greeting commonly used in Sweden and on blogs whose authors have recently read Going Loco by Lynne Truss.
I am fully aware of the fact that most of the comments to the previous post do not make any sense. I would do something about them, but there are too many, and I am too tired to reply to each one of them. We shall, for now, assume that replying to only the relevant ones is a course of action that does not occur to me. I shall choose, therefore, as of now, to ignore them.
I have, as some of the more perceptive people following the progress of this blog would have noticed, not posted in 10 days. I have also not, as some of you would know, replied to any mails during this period. A few of you, who happen to share the common misfortune of having me on your MSN or Yahoo Messenger Contact Lists would have also noticed, or so I like to believe, my 10-day long absence.
I have been, in short, online precisely zero times in the last 10 days. I have been hibernating. And I have 21 unanswered and mostly pointless comments, and 84 new mails on my Yahoo account to show of it.
Why I have been away for 10 days is a topic I shall not go into now, for I have no time to explain. It is a thrilling tale. I wish to do it justice.

I shall therefore, start where I left off. A lot has happened in the past 10 days that I wish to document on this blog. Whose Life? shall, therefore, during the coming week, be written in the past-tense. I shall try to return to the present as soon as possible. Leaving senseless comments, however, shall only delay my recovery.

The Freshers' Quiz was, as I pointed out earlier, interesting. Interesting because of the large contrasts. Contrasts in the quality of competition. Contrasts in the quality of questions. Contrasts in the degree of organization. And very significantly, although it might not seem so important to most people, contrasts in the attitude of the audience. I shall not be going into all these contrasts in detail in the course of this post. They were, nonetheless, very apparent.

The competition was, to be quite frank, poor. Two or three people did stand out, and stand out well, but the general level of the quiz left a lot to be desired. Team Shiwalik was good, primarily because of, from what I hear, Anurag Sud. Team Satpura, which really impressed, especially in the prelims, also had a couple of very good quizzers. Vindhyanchal's freshers, I thought, were a distant third. The fact that they bagged the 2nd spot shows, once again, how important placing and luck is in an infinite-bounds quiz. Karakoram and Jwalamukhi, the other two teams who were a part of the final five, were, at least on both days in question (prelims and finals), very ordinary. The fact that they made it through the prelims says a lot about the level of the quiz. A couple of freshers from Jwala I talked to on the days preceding the event seem to have some potential, but that doesn't seem to stop them from passing sitters. To Kara's credit, they did not pass a single question. They came up with the most ridiculous answers, but they did not pass. Mr. Prabhpal Singh Grewal insists he was instrumental in making them behave the way they did. Mr. Prabhpal Singh Grewal is a fascinating man.

Moving on to the questions. They were worse. And they played no small part in making the quiz as ordinary as it was. Most of them were based on senseless trivia. The one's that weren't were ridiculously simple. And the ones that weren't either were copied verbatim from Quiznet. Come to think about it, even most of the trivia-based and the absurdly-simple questions were, in fact, copied verbatim from Quiznet. There were a few wonderful, original and insightful questions, but they were rare, and their brilliance was completely overshadowed due to all the poor ones.
I must, however, mention that Mr. Aditya Meduri (excellent quizzer, commonly referred to as Meduri, more commonly as Khajury) from Aravalli came up with a few extraordinary questions, and no doubt must be cast on his abilities, for almost all of his questions fitted neatly into the original, insightful and wonderful category. Mr. Arpit Nanda (I hope I have the surname right), from Karakoram, also came up with a few amazing questions, with a little help, I believe, from Mr. Amandeep Singh.

The organization was good, but not as good as it was last year. I guess it had a lot to do with the time restraints, and the newly put into place, ridiculous interaction-period rules. The quiz did seem a bit hurried towards the later part, especially because it had moved at so leisurely a pace in the beginning (what with everybody passing and nobody ready to answer), but a well-deserved round of applause for Bala for putting together as good a show as he could. Couldn't have done much about the questions and the competition, could he?

The audience was awful. It couldn't even have been called an audience during the prelims. There were just a handful of isolated groups scattered around the hall, and one could just about sight one such group if only one possessed a pair of binoculars. Though there were a few more people present during the finals, they didn't do much else besides whistling loudly when a picture of Kylie Minogue was briefly flashed on the screen during one of the Audio-Visual questions. And this at the height of the interaction period, when pro-hostel cheering is supposed to be of paramount importance. Disappointing. Terribly disappointing.

That about wraps it up as far as the freshers' quiz is concerned. Bad, but could have been worse.

And since I haven't said this on my blog before, I shall say it now. MEP 201 sucks. All the teachers are sicksadistic bastards. And they use fresh wax on the slanting tables before each class to make them as slippery as possible. They shall rot in hell. Every last one of 'em.

3 Comments:

Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

mr manu
if u cud pls specify the course contents and happenings in the MEP201 it would clarify many thingies


P.S. this was a meaningful comment

3:18 pm, August 09, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When's ur b'day btw?

6:56 pm, August 09, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoa.

i did NOT post the above comment .

somebody's trying to be me , looks like.

since obviously , no other living being could possibly also be named anya.

1:01 pm, August 10, 2005  

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