Friday, June 30, 2006

Whipped and Devastated

Life, and much else associated with it, seems to take on a slightly greenish tint after four days, and nights, of next to no sleep. Inanimate object seem to possess a mind of their own, and stubbornly refuse to slide into sharp focus. Muscles expand and contract without prior notice, and sudden noises never fail to startle. Individual words seem to make sense, but sentences get lost somewhere in the depths of one's brain. Worst of all, horrifying latent urges become apparent and most difficult to control, and on many occasions, one almost commits oneself to heinous acts such as swiping pearl necklaces and hiding them in flower-pots. Oh, and lest I forget, the imagination boggles.
Therefore, for any of you who inadvertently find themselves in a similar situation, I have advice. Energy-intensive physical activity doesn't quite help the situation.

That said, let the games begin.

As for the title to this post, its irrelevance is merely an illusion, as is the irrelevance of the rest of this post. The title, if popular opinion is to be believed, is what I am going to be in a little more than 24 hours from now. Or so they say.
I would like to disagree, but I can't quite be sure.
For, as I briefly mentioned earlier, I'm no Superman.

13 Comments:

Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Upayan, the time and thought that you spent on my last post is much appreciated. That said, I regret to inform you that most of the inferences that you drew from the post are slightly off the mark.
There are currently many rumours on Orkut, and quite a few of them involve me. I would expect better from you than to believe all of them.

Also, in the future, I would appreciate it if you could refrain from commenting on my personal life on my blog, as I like to keep the two of them as separate as possible.
If you are curious, however, you are more than welcome to just call me. I promise to try my best to satiate your inquisitiveness.
Thank you.

P.S. - I remain, as ever, Manu Saxena. How one chooses to see me is a matter of personal and individual preference.

7:53 pm, July 02, 2006  
Blogger Rishi said...

To each his own.

10:50 pm, July 02, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Quite.

8:35 am, July 03, 2006  
Blogger Phoenix said...

Well, one thing is for sure...
You may be devastated and down and out, but you remain popular, affable, and a favourite with the grapevine!

7:14 am, July 10, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Phoenix, is that so? Really? Popular? Affable? I doubt it very much.
The grapevine bit, though, is to be expected.
How've you been? And when are you planning to leave?

7:29 pm, July 10, 2006  
Blogger Phoenix said...

Yeah, that's right. I thought you were too familiar with my habit of saying whatever I feel like right on the face, even in a class. I'm not lying; you are/were the most eligible bachelor of our year at one point!:P
I'm ok; just bored. Leaving after manyyy days. 20th Aug, tentatively.
How about you?

6:18 am, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

I am, and beginning to get quite used to it.
One clarification, I feel I must make. I still am, in fact, a bachelor. I wonder how the confusion first arose. Whether eligible or not is completely for others to decide.
In any case, I daresay, not too bad for an 'abnormal' person, is it?

Jokes aside, I leave on the 20th of July. Just a few more days to go.
Yeii!

5:13 am, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Rishi said...

To each, his own.

8:47 pm, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Quite.

5:12 am, July 13, 2006  
Blogger Devesh said...

I have always had a doubt that u were a bit crazy. After reading this , the doubt's got cleared!!.

10:13 pm, July 13, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

That's what I'm here for. Clearing up doubts.

5:12 am, July 14, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

14th comment, lest ill luck befall me at this crucial juncture in life.

5:14 am, July 14, 2006  
Blogger Phoenix said...

No ill luck for you dear. Only best wishes. At least from me. Counting hours, eh?
Do stay in touch, and do stay the same semi-insane abnormal person(about the bachelor bit, you may or may not stay one, upto you)!

8:59 am, July 17, 2006  

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

Oh, Bloody Oh!

This is what I found out today.
It takes an average of 10 years for somebody’s spit to get completely cleared out of your system. 10 years. 10 effing years.

Do you people realize how significant this news is? Do you people have any idea of the implications of this find? It has opened up an entirely new line of thought for me. Questions earlier unthought of are now vying for my very limited mind-space.
Do spits retain their individuality in someone else’s system? Do they practice healthy, communal living, or do they have their own petty feuds and quarrels? Do they lose their vitality and uniqueness with time? Most importantly, what happens when two spits meet?

Spit-Sample 1: Hey. You seem new around here. Who are you?
Spit-Sample 2: Hi! You’re right, I am new here. I arrived yesterday. I’m ABC’s spit. What about you?
SS1: I’m XYZ’s spit. So how might you be doing?
SS2: Quite good. I am, however, a little curious. How did you end up inside Manu?
SS1: Manu? Oh, are you referring to the tall, good-looking guy we’re having this conversation inside? Pretty much the same way you did, I’m guessing.
SS2 (Gasping): WHAT!! How long have you been here?

Case 1 (Manu has a narrow escape):
SS1: A fairly long time, I think. A couple of years, maybe. I’ve begun to get a bit bored, actually. There’s not much to do around here. And to think, I have another 8 or so years to spend like this.
SS2 (Relieved): Oh, it’s okay then. For a minute there I was a bit scared. Anyway, don’t worry too much. We could hang out together if you want. Those are some lovely enzymes you’ve got, by the way. Where did you manage to come across those.
SS1 (Pleased): Ooh, you like them? I got them somewhere near his Pancreas. We could go there sometime.
(They end up going enzyme-shopping together, and compliment each other on their shoes).

Case 2 (Manu is not so lucky):
SS1: Two, maybe three days ago. Why, what happened?
SS2 (Now slightly pale. More pale than usual spit, anyway): WHAT!! The louse. He’s going to pay for this. Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad. Somebody.

(They bitch about Manu and his wanton ways.)

Man, this is scary. I should be afraid. Very afraid. Earth-shattering information like that, I could very well live without.
After all, I’m no Superman.

8 Comments:

Blogger Ménk said...

oho! reference to Russell Peters. that stand up was awesome. anyawy, good to see ur post.

n i also liked the reference of the song!!

1:41 pm, June 26, 2006  
Blogger Kaala Kavva said...

Oye manu. Somebody gonna getta hurt reeeeeeeeall bad!
good to see both of us back ;)

3:06 am, June 27, 2006  
Blogger Phoenix said...

Hmm...maybe not a superman, but you could try a desi version, like Krrrisshhh
(forgive the spelling, whatever it is)

I say this because the post and the movie are quite similar, in mindlessness.
Good to see you writing still.

5:19 am, June 27, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Waah! 4 comments. People still do visit this space.

And I'm no Kkkrrrisshh either. I don't think I'd ever want to be. It's difficult to be someone whose name you have difficulty spelling.

11:51 am, June 27, 2006  
Blogger quagmire said...

Lame. Your blog was better off without your 'return'

9:06 am, June 28, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Rohan, a good day to you too.

11:33 am, June 29, 2006  
Blogger FifthBeatle said...

I'm thinking twice before kissing someone the next time!

[Never thought I'd ever say those word! :P]

5:04 pm, September 08, 2006  
Blogger Occasional Brilliance said...

all of a sudden, i dont feel so bad about having never been kissed... am so going to make my friends from college read this... aaaahhh but to witness the look on their faces :P

love russel peters
"a girl from ice land and a dude from cuba... little ice cubes"

5:50 am, March 27, 2007  

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Thursday, June 08, 2006

I’m Still Alive

It’s been a while. More than three months, if I be slightly more precise. The comments to my previous post tell me that my absence has not gone unnoticed. Many have left comments asking me where I am (or was). There has also been much unnecessary theorizing about the causes of my extended leave. Quite a few have put forth their own hypotheses, some of them, like Mr. Kant’s, being unclear to the point of absurdity, but many more, mercifully, have asked me to make clear my reasons, instead of venturing to explain them on their own. Most, and I am very thankful to God for this, have merely enquired as to my whereabouts, or, to put it as many of them have, whether I’m still alive.

I am. I’m still alive. I’m more alive than I’ve been in a very long time. I can feel myself again. I can feel every little joy magnified a thousand times, and every little jolt made a thousand times worse.

The last three months have passed in a whirlwind of activity and excitement. Some of it has been good, and some of it has been bad. But I’ve lived through every single moment of it all. In every sense of the word, I’m still alive.

All of my alleged well-wishers can therefore stop worrying. And Mr. Kant can go stick his head in a pig.
Thank You.

8 Comments:

Blogger Rishi said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:38 pm, June 08, 2006  
Blogger Rishi said...

Nice to see you alive, mon ami. I knew you'd fight back

2:40 pm, June 08, 2006  
Blogger AP said...

I can finally comment

7:18 am, June 09, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Rishi, thanks. It's always nice to know that one has friends who care, although it is slightly disappointing to see good advice given to somebody go waste, as I trust it did in your case.

Anjul, good for you, man. Good for you.

Matt, it's good to be back. As for my period of stay, I’m not promising anything. You know how it is with writing on a public forum. One day you feel that writing may save your life, and another, not so much.

7:37 pm, June 09, 2006  
Blogger Rishi said...

You've always been quite a fighter; a fighter to the core.

10:39 pm, June 09, 2006  
Blogger Phoenix said...

how much more of a gap is this one going to be?+
-

10:11 am, June 22, 2006  
Blogger Manu Saxena said...

Not a very long one, I assure you.

9:41 am, June 25, 2006  
Blogger Ménk said...

rishi suxx was the biggest vella when he last commented.

1:42 pm, June 26, 2006  

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