On competition

I have often been accused of being a very competitive person. Right from the time I was in class V or VI, many people have called me fiercely competitive, and many people have hated me for it. Many people have thought me stubborn, aggressive, and unduly rigid in dealing with others. Many have accused me of having a huge ego. And most have been right.

Yes, I am fiercely competitive. Yes, I do have a huge ego. I hate to lose, and I hate to see other people win at my expense. And most importantly, I don't think it is wrong to do so. My competitive nature has had many undesirable side-effects. I've had arguments with friends and acquaintances. I've been called names behind my back. The fact that over the past few years, I have been called overly competitive less and less is probably a sign of me having slowly matured a bit over the years, as hard as that might be to believe. I still do, however, get quite a bit of flak for being aggressive and competitive unnecessarily. I don't think that I have mellowed down over the past few years. I just think that with time, I have become sensible enough not to make my feelings apparent to everybody.

I don't really believe in such crap as competing with oneself, and unhealthy competition. No competition is unhealthy. When I am studying for a test, I expect to do well in it, and I think getting upset if other people get better marks than me at it is a completely natural response. When I am playing a match against somebody, and I do possess the required skills to beat this particular somebody, I always try my best to win, and I always get upset when I lose. To me, losing when I have the ability to win is most disturbing. Fortunately, or unfortunately, more often than not, I do have the ability to win, and thus losing is almost always very disappointing. If this is what people call an ego, I don't see why it is considered a negative quality. I genuinely think that the right to an ego is the first right of man.

All of my successes over the past six to seven years have been because of one of two reasons. They have either been a result of my competitive spirit, or they have been efforts to prove other people wrong. These are the two motivations that spur me on. Most people would consider these driving forces to be destructive and negative. But the important thing is that they work for me, and work for me much better than motivating factors such as working for the sake of good work, and striving for excellence. Firstly, they are easier to understand (What exactly does one mean by striving for excellence?) and give tangible results, and secondly, they are, by their very nature, much more powerful impulses. I have been extremely fortunate in finding good competition and worthy rivals over the years, especially during the time I spent at school. I owe a lot to them. I also can't help but feel a bit sorry for them, for once they were identified as competition by me, they almost invariably went down.

I can't imagine a life without my deep-rooted sense of competition. My life is practically governed by my ego and my competitive spirit, and has been for quite some time now. When I was 9 or 10 years old, I came across a very interesting short story. I don't remember if I read it somewhere, or heard it from somebody. What I do remember is the fact that even at the age of 9 (or 10), it had a profound effect on me. And it has played a very important part in my life ever since. This is how it goes:-

Two very good friends were walking down a thin path in the middle of the jungle. It was a hot day, and both of them were extremely tired. They were on a wildlife expedition, and they had been walking almost continuously for six hours. They were carrying burdensome back-packs, and were wearing tough and heavy hiking-shoes. Suddenly one of them spotted a bear running towards them. The bear was huge, and looked extremely angry. Terrified, the two men started running, and the bear, no doubt very hungry, gave them chase.

Suddenly, one of the men stopped. He quickly took out a pair of light running-shoes from his back-pack, bent down, and put them on. Then he resumed running.

All this while, the other man was looking at him. Nonplussed, he asked him, "That beast has got a stride double ours, and it's only a matter of time before we end up as his mid-day meal. Do you really expect to outrun him simply by putting on a pair of running-shoes?"

"But my dear friend, don't you see, I don't have to outrun the bear", replied the first man, almost casually. "I just have to outrun you."