CSTs

I just saw two lizards mating on a lecture-theatre wall.

It was absolutely disgusting.

It was, in fact, the second most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life.

I also just finished my PHP 100 lab-test.

I, not very surprisingly, got completely screwed in it.

Co-incidentally, it was too, I firmly believe, the second worst test I have ever taken in my life.

To find out what I think is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life, or to know more about the worst test I have taken as yet, leave comments asking me about them.

Preferably separate ones.

On farewells and open-houses

I have no time for lengthy introductory paragraphs.

My blog-hits on Nedstat have gone up to about 9,500 (Since 4th December, 2004). Since I registered for Nedstat about a month after I started blogging, I think I would be quite justified in assuming that my blog has now been visited about 10,000 times. Yay!!

Cranium-2005 was held on Friday night/Saturday morning. All the IITans reading this will know that Cranium is the QC (Quizzing Club) farewell event. The questions are made by the passing-out batch, and the quiz goes on all night. It started at about 7:30 in the evening, and ended at about 5:30 in the morning. The prelims were easy, and although my partner (ROTB, or Rohan of The B****s) did not arrive until they had almost ended, we managed to get through to the finals. The quiz basically consisted of a lot of questions (as would be required for it to last the entire night), which were being answered by various people in varying stages of sleep and drunkenness. The quiz was, on the whole, very interesting. It did get a bit tedious at times, but the fact that the SAC (Students' Activity Centre) committee-room, the venue for the event, has a door that leads out directly to the SAC lawns, helped greatly to relieve the monotony. Whenever things got a bit boring, I popped out for some time, and enjoyed Delhi's cool, fresh, nightly breeze (which was extraordinarily cool and fresh on this particular night), along with interesting conversations with other QC enthusiasts.

Cranium-2005 was the last QC event this academic year. It makes me feel almost sad to think that the next time I attend a QC event at IIT, Delhi, quite a few of the familiar QC faces will be missing. There will be no more of Arnav Sinha, no more of Ashish Jhina (whom I am, for some weird reason, widely assumed to be terribly afraid of), no more of Pushan Sengupta (or Pushan Singh, as a scorer, who has, over time, developed an almost altogether unhealthy dislike for Pushan, would have us believe), no more of Varun Sud, no more of Saket 'The Stud' Jha, and no more of the rest of the passing-out batch. I cannot help but feel that without all these people, QC events are no longer going to be as interesting, or as insightful, as they were all of this year. I sadly bid them goodbye, and may they succeed wherever they go in life.

After Cranium, I came back home. I reached home at about 6:00 AM. After a longish nap, I was back in college by about 12:30, for the 'Open-House' that was being held there. Lots of projects by IIT students were on display there. The special feature was a colouring/blood-testing kit developed by the BioTech. Dept. that costed only Rs. 25. Here's how you use it.
You take it out, add a bit of water to the given dry-colours on the paper, and use tooth-picks to colour up the circles. Then you add a drop of your blood to each circle, and watch the neat patterns appear. You show the neat patterns to a person,who is seated there for the special purpose of looking at the neat patterns, and he looks at the neat patterns and tells you your blood-group.
Very neat, I thought.

I also saw some of the projects made by the 2nd year Mechanical Engineering students, which were up for display. There was a slidable stretcher, a matchstick-wood saver, a bulb-changer, and other such stupid contraptions which all of us could perfectly do without. But then, I, too, am in Mechanical Engineering, and I guess in another year or so, I, too, would be thinking that these are pretty neat ideas.

Besides that, the semester is about to end. I have assignments to submit, projects to finish, and studying to do. Deadlines are passing by, making whooshing noises. I have quizzes (the real ones) lined up on most of the days of the coming week, and my Major Tests start on the 4th of May. My life, something tells me, is going to continue being an 'Unmitigated Disaster', unless I study, and study hard. It is, therefore, very likely that I will not be able to write a lot in the coming two weeks, except for short posts telling you how my life deteriorates with each passing Major.

Till then,
So long, and thanks for all the hits.

Origin

My Immortal
Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
'Cause your presence still lingers here.
And it won't leave me alone.

These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have all of me.

You used to captivate me,
By your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.

These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have all of me.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have all of me.

Yes, I am posting only so that people do not assume that I have quit blogging.
Wonderful song, though.

On the last two days (The post with lots of brackets (and even brackets within brackets) in it )

It's been a long and hectic two days.

I went for a nice, long cycling trip yesterday. It was an NCC thing. I, not possessing a cycle of my own, had to borrow one from Mr. Misra, which I did on Friday night (It was a very nice cycle, its only drawback being that it possessed an extraordinarily hard seat.). I set out for IIT at 4:45 AM on Monday morning, when it was still dark. I reached IIT at about 5:05. Then me, and a few others, set out for the trip. For the next four and a half hours, I was continuously cycling. I must have done about 50-60 kilometers. We first went to Dhaula Kuan, and from there, went on to Buddha Jayanti Park. We then headed back to IIT via Chanakya Puri. On my way back, I stopped at a couple of friends' houses. Before returning home at about 9:30 AM, I returned the cycle to Mr. Misra. When I reached home, I was, not unreasonably, tired. My legs were aching. My arse was aching (due to the afore-mentioned hard seat). My arms were aching. But I was a happy man, satisfied at having earned 10 more NCC hours (and, therefore, having 10 less hours to complete later), and having cycled more than I had ever cycled in my life (and very probably, most of my friends' lives too).

Mummy came back last night. This basically means that the household is finally going to be put off auto-pilot mode, and start functioning like normal households should. This also means no more movies and late-nights out for me this semester.

Mini, my sister, got her very own iPod Mini last night (mummy got her one). Silver. Very nice and small it is. Makes me almost feel envious, inspite of owning an iPod myself. I would have probably asked her for an exchange, had it not been for the storage space considerations.

I went to my cousin's place for a havan today in the morning. He recently shifted into a new place at Saket (really cool place, and bloody close to PVR too, so the next time I need movie tickets, I know whom to call), and it was a griha-pravesh/havan-pooja thingie (I do believe that that's the first, and hopefully the last, time I have used the word thingie on my blog).

For the uninitiated, a havan is a Hindu religious ceremony. Here's how you do it.

You call lots of relatives over. Make sure you give them an arrival time of about an hour before the havan starts, for then they are sure to start trickling in before it ends. You also call a panditji over, and he presides over the events. Then, you and all the relatives (who have arrived as yet) sit around a metallic bucket. The panditji then proceeds to light a fire in the bucket. You are asked to repeat certain things after him, which you duly do, without really understanding any of them (unless you are well-versed in Sanskrit (I never really did understand why Sanskrit is known as Samskrit in English, but then, I never really did understand a lot of other things as well), which not many people these days are). Then the panditji says 'swaha' and you throw lots of ghee and Havan-Samagri (funky brown stuff) in the bucket, so that the fire doesn't die. After rushing through the pooja, you pack off the panditji after paying him a lot of money. Then, you enjoy a bloody good lunch, and follow it up with the latest in what's happening in the family. Who's getting married to whom. Who changed jobs, and to where, and other such stuff (In today's case, since it was a griha-pravesh pooja, there were also the mandatory guided house-tours that took place at this time.). Then you say bye to everybody. Then you (as often people do, having said their byes) leave.

I came home and slept. I just got up and had paneer for dinner. Now I plan to watch Yuva (the movie). And tomorrow is a chhutti.

I win!

It's been a very long time since I wrote. A lot has happened during this very long time. I will, for the sake of adhering to some kind of word-limit, skip my customary useless introduction, and come straight to the point. The following are the major events in my life that took place in the last few days.

For the first time at IIT, I sat in the first row during a lecture class. Why I did this, I do not know. However, I do know that I did do it, and got the scare of my life. Sitting in the front row of a lecture theatre is definitely one of the scariest things I have done as yet at IIT. Here at IIT, the lecture theatres are designed in such a way that, moving from the front to the back, each row is a bit higher than the previous one. Sitting in the front row is completely alright, until you make the grim mistake of looking back, a mistake that is fraught with much danger, because when you do look back, you see about 70-80 grave-looking IITans looking back down at you, and the sight is enough to cause a temporary loss of sanity in even the most strong-minded.

For the first time (lots of firsts for me in the past few days) since the beginning of the series, I missed an episode of Koffee with Karan. I am sure that at this point of time, all of you must be thinking why I regularly watch such a worthless show as Koffee with Karan (I can almost hear Aseem Suri, my good friend, saying, "Loserly... Very Loserly"). You must be contemplating why I, a more-or-less sane sounding individual, religiously follows the mindless series. To you, I would say that I watch it because I enjoy it, and to Aseem, I would say that 'loserly' is not a proper English word. So think what you want, but I, for one, shall continue watching Koffee with Karan. I missed this particular show only because I had gone to watch 'The Aviator'. The fact that the guests on the episode I missed were fat actresses from 'Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' (Because Mother-in-law was also sometime Daughter-in-law) mitigates my unhappiness partially, but not completely.

In a very significant development, my PHL 120 professor, came to know about my blogging activities. This means that he also came to know about the post whose link has been provided in the previous sentence. This also means that I may be in deep-shit. Thankfully for me, my PHL 120 professor is one of the few professors I have encountered at IIT who is capable of taking a joke (You do realize that with him monitoring this space, I can only write good things about him, don't you?), and I am hoping that he takes the entire post in good humour. I know it is a bit too much to ask, but hoping is not against the law, is it? And while I am on the subject of my PHL 120 professor, I must point out that he is an amazing teacher, and knows his subject very, very well (read sentence in parentheses again). On the whole, I am not too worried about him knowing about my blog. I am just scared that with him onto it, it might just be a matter of time before some of my other professors jump on the band-wagon. And I shudder to think what would be the outcome of my MEL 120 professor coming across my blog.
By the way, before you start getting all clicky, let me point out that all the three links on my PHL 120 professor (make it all the four) take you to the same blog-post.

Besides that, I participated in a very nice quiz yesterday at IIT. It was a non-comp (non-competitive) quiz, which means that I could team up with people from other hostels. I teamed up with Shashwat Sehgal and Rohan Trivedi, both second-yearites from Aravalli. We named our team after a musical instrument (which, incidentally, does not mean 'flea' in Hawaiian), and had a considerably good time. I, for a change, actually managed to answer some questions correctly, inspite of Mr. Trivedi's heroic efforts.

My bad experiences with bus-conductors continue unabated. Another chapter was added to this now-famous saga when I had a minor altercation with one of them on my way to Reliance Web-World. In short it occurred thus.
I was to walk to Reliance Web-World, South Extension, Part II, which is just one bus-stop away from AIIMS, with Mr. Karan Misra. Due to certain unavoidable circumstances, Mr. Misra got a head-start on me, and I, wanting to catch up with him, prevailed over prudence, and inspite of my recent unfortunate experiences with buses, decided to take one. On boarding the bus, I discovered I had no change, and I therefore told the conductor to take me to R.K. Puram. Now all of you who are even faintly familiar with Delhi's Geography would know that R.K. Puram from AIIMS is in exactly the opposite direction as South-Ex from AIIMS. The conductor told me so, and I, after pretending to look surprised (and overdoing it, I think) said, "Theek hain. Phir next bus-stop par utar jaoonga."(Okay, then I'll get off at the next bus-stop.) To say that the conductor saw right through me would be giving him too much credit. But I am quite sure he had a faint idea of what I was up to. This resulted in the afore-mentioned altercation. He asked me for the fare, and I firmly refused. In the end, I satisfactorily note here, I did not have to part with my well-earned two rupees.

My good friend, Mr. Mayank Gupta, recently said something that made infinite sense. When I asked him what was wrong with my CSL 102 assignment program, he had an answer ready. "Manu", he said profoundly, "You have got problems." Just like Mayank to come up with the undeniable truths of life.

Before I go, I will recount to you what my good friend Rohan Trivedi told me a few days ago. "Do you realize," he said, "that if Lara Dutta were to marry Brian Lara, she would be known as Lara Lara."
Made me almost wish that she does end up marrying him.

Bus music

Before I begin writing this post, I would like to apologize in advance, to all those people whose sentiments I am going to hurt in this post. In the society we live in, a lot of people take extreme displeasure when their musical choices are attacked. Music, I think, ranks right up there with religion and country when it comes to inciting violence and aggression. People are extremely intolerant about others' music choices, and want more and more people to listen to and enjoy what they listen to and enjoy. I, on the other hand, listen to the kind of music that sounds good. I don't care about bands' reputations, and I don't care about genres, and I, therefore, many-a-times, say things that are not supposed to be said. Therefore, I consider it safe to apologize right now, for any feathers that I ruffle during the course of this post.

I'm sure all of you are familiar with the phrase 'The best of both worlds.' But have you ever come across the phrase 'The worst of both worlds.' No? I thought so. Well I have. Yesterday, in fact. Where? In da bus.

It all started innocently enough. I boarded a bus to take me to college in the morning. I sat down, not knowing what was in store for me. I found out soon enough, though. The bus journey from the AIIMS Campus gate to the IIT campus gate takes about 15 minutes. And yesterday, these 15 minutes turned into the longest quarter-hour of my life.

As is common in buses in the morning, music was playing at the loudest possible volume. I have always wondered what it is that prompts people to play loud music early in the mornings. But tolerant that I am when it comes to music, most mornings I bear with the loud music-playing in buses. Yesterday, however, I was almost driven mad by it. The music was undoubtedly recorded (on a tape) by the driver or the conductor (or a friend of theirs) with noble intentions, like regaling passengers like me with excellent music. But apparently, their music tastes didn't exactly match mine. The first track he played was dreadful. Here is what it went like.

(Very, very squeaky and out-of-tune female voice singing)
Ek aankh maroo to rasta ruk jaye...
Duji aankh maroo to bheed aa jaye...
Dono aankh maroo to....
(Pregnant pause)...

Chhora pat jaaye, pat jaaye. Chhora pat jaaye.

I somehow managed to survive that song without impaling myself with the fountain-pen I was carrying in my hand. But my horrors were far from over. The next song began almost immediately after the first one. And it was no better. It was, to be more precise, Sexy Lady, by Shaggy.

The conductor, no doubt in a fit of zeal, had thought that songs in only one language would get a bit monotonous for the passengers, and showing great compassion for his listeners, had decided to give us a bit of variety. I am quite sure that a lot of people like the 'Shaggy' kind of music (I, in fact remember a friend of mine in school who quite used to enjoy Shaggy. Every time I used to take my iPod to school, he used to ask me whether he could listen to a bit of Shaggy. Each time, I would gently remind him that I didn't have any on my Pod, and he would go away, dejected, only to return the next day with infinite hope that I had managed to load a few of Shaggy's songs on my iPod in the previous 24 hours.), but I, for one, don't. Try as I might, I can not get myself to appreciate the Shaggy kind of music. The conductor's efforts to please his audience were, therefore, entirely wasted on me.

Shaggy ended after what seemed like a year. But my troubles were far from over. Looking out from the window, I realized that I was still 5 minutes away from sanctuary (sanctuary, in this case, being IIT. Much as I crib about it, it does seem to have an almost total absence of maniacal, overzealous conductors.), and the conductor was far from over with his morning music. He switched back to Hindi, and although I thought things just couldn't get any worse, they did. Here's what the next song sounded like.

(Man, who for some reason sounds like he has a lot of facial hair and is wearing dark glasses, in deep voice, screeching) - Tu ladki kawaari hain.
(Cronies) - Hai, Hai, Hai.
(Man, again) - Tu tirchhi katari hain.
(Cronies, in a slightly different tune) - Hai, Hai, Hai.
(Man, yet again) - Tu meethi supari hain.
(Cronies, in yet another tune) - Hai, Hai, Hai.
(Man, for what seems like a last time, but really isn't) - Tu hum sabko pyaari hain.
(Creative Cronies, in another new tune) - Hai, Hai, Hai.
(Man) - To aaja, aaja, aaaaaaaa.......

This is where I got off.
And this is what I do this Monday onwards.
1. I never travel in a bus again.
2. I walk to and from college.
3. If I am too tired to walk to and from college, I take the car.
4. If I have gone to college walking, and am too tired to walk back, I ask people for lifts, after making sure their cars do not have music players in them.
5. If I have gone to college walking, and am too tired to walk back, and I come across no cars without music players in them, I call up one of my parents and ask them to pick me up.
6. If I have gone to college walking, and I am too tired to walk back, and I come across no cars without music players in them, and my parents think I am crazy and refuse to come anywhere near me, I stop a car, pull out the driver (in true bollywood style), and drive off in his vehicle.
7. I carry a firearm at all times to be used against maniacal, overzealous conductors and/or drivers, and in extreme cases, against people who are too heavy to be pulled out of their vehicles.

That, I think, should solve my problems, which according to Mr. Mayank Gupta, I have a lot of.

On blogging belligerence

There once was a time, when blogging activities were peaceful. When blogging was primarily an outlet to one's emotions. When people wrote on blogs to unwind, to meditate on the state of affairs, to think out their lives, and to understand themselves better. When people posted unencumbered by thoughts of violence and aggression. But all that has changed.

The blogging world, at least the part of it that is visible to me, is getting ugly. Posts are getting aggressive and violent. Comment wars are erupting all over the land. Sarcasm is getting out of hand, and insolence has replaced humour. Courtesy and respect have been forgotten. The days of old have left, and evil days are upon us. Don't believe me? Check out the comments to MINORity report on Summer Lightening, one of the blogs I visit regularly. It is a wonderful blog, but of-late, it's beauty was being ruined by a full-scale comment-war raging between two parties, namely Mr. Wowbagger, and Mr. Nuisance. It was fun in the beginning, but soon it got a bit out of hand. Evasive action had to be taken to end the hostilities, which now, thanks to no small a part being played by me, are over. Mr. Nuisance, nice fellow that he is, has come to his senses, and has signaled an end to all aggression. Mr. Bagger, though he hasn't actually declared peace, has not posted a comment on the post in question for some time now, so it would be safe to assume the episode over.

The incident mentioned above is but a single example of a widespread phenomenon. Blogging belligerence is definitely on the rise these days. I, personally, feel that blogging belligerence comes about due to two reasons.

Firstly, it is because of the anonymity provided by the net. Bloggers, these days, try their very best to project themselves in an extremely positive light. Nothing wrong with that, I say. It is but an expression of the human ego. But many actually lie (gasp!!) to make sure readers think well of them. These bloggers, as a general rule, try to be 'Cool Dudes' and lie about their physical appearances, their opinions on certain issues, the status of their lives, and sometimes, even their badminton skills. Such false claims provide a lot of scope for blog-battles.

Secondly, blogging aggression comes about due to a much simpler and more fundamental reason. Human aggression. Human aggression is, try as we might to deny it, one of the most basic human qualities, and trying to outdo others in a battle of wits is but a natural extension of this aggression. This is probably what happened in the example cited above. It started out innocently, with two people passing funny and witty comments against each other. But as often happens when wit is kept unchecked, the comments, especially the later ones, ended up a bit on the ruder side, and things got out of hand.

Another question which I must deal with before I sign-off is that of hope. "Is all hope lost?", some may ask. "Will we perpetually live under a shadow of blogging belligerence for the rest of our times?" The answer is a big, resounding NO. Things, if we make a conscious effort, can change. All hope is not lost. Do not try to mislead others by misrepresenting yourself. And keep wit under check. These are the two biggest lessons the bloggers of our times have to learn. If you already follow these two basic rules, rejoice, for you have already done your bit to make the blogging world a safe and peaceful place. If you don't, kindly try to. That is all I ask for.

On competition

I have often been accused of being a very competitive person. Right from the time I was in class V or VI, many people have called me fiercely competitive, and many people have hated me for it. Many people have thought me stubborn, aggressive, and unduly rigid in dealing with others. Many have accused me of having a huge ego. And most have been right.

Yes, I am fiercely competitive. Yes, I do have a huge ego. I hate to lose, and I hate to see other people win at my expense. And most importantly, I don't think it is wrong to do so. My competitive nature has had many undesirable side-effects. I've had arguments with friends and acquaintances. I've been called names behind my back. The fact that over the past few years, I have been called overly competitive less and less is probably a sign of me having slowly matured a bit over the years, as hard as that might be to believe. I still do, however, get quite a bit of flak for being aggressive and competitive unnecessarily. I don't think that I have mellowed down over the past few years. I just think that with time, I have become sensible enough not to make my feelings apparent to everybody.

I don't really believe in such crap as competing with oneself, and unhealthy competition. No competition is unhealthy. When I am studying for a test, I expect to do well in it, and I think getting upset if other people get better marks than me at it is a completely natural response. When I am playing a match against somebody, and I do possess the required skills to beat this particular somebody, I always try my best to win, and I always get upset when I lose. To me, losing when I have the ability to win is most disturbing. Fortunately, or unfortunately, more often than not, I do have the ability to win, and thus losing is almost always very disappointing. If this is what people call an ego, I don't see why it is considered a negative quality. I genuinely think that the right to an ego is the first right of man.

All of my successes over the past six to seven years have been because of one of two reasons. They have either been a result of my competitive spirit, or they have been efforts to prove other people wrong. These are the two motivations that spur me on. Most people would consider these driving forces to be destructive and negative. But the important thing is that they work for me, and work for me much better than motivating factors such as working for the sake of good work, and striving for excellence. Firstly, they are easier to understand (What exactly does one mean by striving for excellence?) and give tangible results, and secondly, they are, by their very nature, much more powerful impulses. I have been extremely fortunate in finding good competition and worthy rivals over the years, especially during the time I spent at school. I owe a lot to them. I also can't help but feel a bit sorry for them, for once they were identified as competition by me, they almost invariably went down.

I can't imagine a life without my deep-rooted sense of competition. My life is practically governed by my ego and my competitive spirit, and has been for quite some time now. When I was 9 or 10 years old, I came across a very interesting short story. I don't remember if I read it somewhere, or heard it from somebody. What I do remember is the fact that even at the age of 9 (or 10), it had a profound effect on me. And it has played a very important part in my life ever since. This is how it goes:-

Two very good friends were walking down a thin path in the middle of the jungle. It was a hot day, and both of them were extremely tired. They were on a wildlife expedition, and they had been walking almost continuously for six hours. They were carrying burdensome back-packs, and were wearing tough and heavy hiking-shoes. Suddenly one of them spotted a bear running towards them. The bear was huge, and looked extremely angry. Terrified, the two men started running, and the bear, no doubt very hungry, gave them chase.

Suddenly, one of the men stopped. He quickly took out a pair of light running-shoes from his back-pack, bent down, and put them on. Then he resumed running.

All this while, the other man was looking at him. Nonplussed, he asked him, "That beast has got a stride double ours, and it's only a matter of time before we end up as his mid-day meal. Do you really expect to outrun him simply by putting on a pair of running-shoes?"

"But my dear friend, don't you see, I don't have to outrun the bear", replied the first man, almost casually. "I just have to outrun you."